forgive me, Framing by Cyndi, for I have sinned…
It’s safe to say that I am a struggling photographer.
The main reason for this:
I have no talent.
I’m lazy.
Crippling depression.
God hates me.
Framing is fucking expensive.
Yeah, that’s it. Let’s explore this a little, shall we?
Photography is sort of a dirty word around palatial Cog Manor, because when one mentions photography to The Wife, she immediately travels back in time to when yours truly was not a struggling photographer, but was doing okay with it, at least enough to justify it to some degree, but there was a huge catch: The Wife began to forget what yours truly looked like, and The Wife’s colleagues began to suspect that yours truly didn’t really exist, because yours truly was never ever home or available to attend various colleague gatherings.
To give you an idea, we bought a new car once, and I drove Five Thousand Miles in it before the first monthly payment was due. And when I wasn’t driving or sleeping, I was behind a camera.
“This is not why I got married,” she’d shout down the phone.
So, naturally, we decided to have a baby. This was memorable, because it was the time we had sex having a baby is memorable and forces you to consider whether spending all your time behind the wheel of a car is more fun than seeing your child learn to do stuff like see how far he can shoot poop out of his butt.
It was a tough call.
Eventually, The Boy won out, and I decided to come home, because he learned to do stuff that was less disgusting. And, because when you are new parents and haven’t had any sleep for a few months and your brains have melted, you think it would be a good idea to start a photography business. You know, in your spare time.
So, to recap: We go from having a paycheck but being notably absent for months at a time, to having a baby and no paycheck to count on and good gawd does he never stop pooping?
Some other stuff happens, then we arrive at last week, long after any thought of photography as a living has been scrubbed out of my mind forever, and I am only allowed to pursue anything photography-related if somebody else pays for it or I work some barter magic.
And I needed to frame a print.
I trotted down to, well, we’ll call it Framing by Cyndi, because there’s a shop like this in most every town. It’s local, you know Cyndi’s folks, you’re glad she’s re-grouped after that disastrous marriage with the Benton boy, etc. And besides, you are a good American who supports local business.
And then you discover that Cyndi is proud of her framing skills. She’s very proud of her framing skills. So much so that you begin to think there’s more money in framing things that there is in actually creating the things that need framing.
It’s also about this time that you remember the last post you wrote about joining Bossy’s Poverty Party, and how that post was entirely too badly written subtle and you think Bossy has been trying to craft a kind but firm email dropping you from the party list, and suggesting you lose her web address.
And you have the few dollars you’ve made selling prints lately wadded up in your pocket, along with the money you’ve saved by not going out to lunch every day and instead eating Pop Tarts, and you add it all up to find that you have enough to frame roughly one-third of your print the way it should be framed, according to Cyndi.
Not to mention that you have somehow shifted to writing this in second-person.
I then carried my print and my wadded up dollars over to the vast soul-less craft empire who shall remain nameless, but which rhymes with Lobby Hobby, and forgive me, Framing By Cyndi, for I have sinned, and I got it framed there, in less time, without swooning over the price too much.
What have we learned today?
I have no talent.
Stop that. We learned that sometimes I, you, we (to cover everyone who is speaking here) have to stomp all over loyalties, break down, and shop by price. It’s not specific, but it applies.
Also: That bitch Cyndi never bought one of my prints.
on October 30, 2008 at 5:57 pm
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Framing *is* expensive. Bossy signed up to be a part of her community’s photography show, but she stopped short of purchasing anything cool to hang *around* her photos. So her photos looked like crap. Plastic mounted crap.
Hey – you linked to your old blog post today, so Bossy is going to get in your comment and change the link to this instead.
BOSSYs most recent blog post..Everything Bossy Knows About Foot Fashion She Learned From Endless.com.
on October 30, 2008 at 6:01 pm
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doh!
on October 31, 2008 at 9:50 am
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Irma
Back in the Middle Ages(I think it was 1954) I had nothing pretty and walked to the new Print and Framing store that had just opened one block away from our humble garden apartment. I bought a large print of a Matisse(Tabac Royal) for one dollar and the frame cost me ten—another Cindy)She wanted me to get the non glare glass,but who could afford it? It stills hangs in my home.It always will be there.I bet whoever has the original doesn’t love it as much. Just wanted to make you feel young and talented.
on October 31, 2008 at 10:44 am
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Since I have skinflint tendencies, I print any size so long as it is A4, order a dozen mats at a time from some on-line place, and put them in “European” clip frames. I only get fancy frames for photos that are gifts for really special people.
Of course, I’ve never sold anything…
on October 31, 2008 at 11:54 am
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Luckily my computer came with a framing device. It’s called the “computer screen.”
Stephanies most recent blog post..I thought serving it like this would be much more festive
on November 3, 2008 at 12:36 am
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I love that print, Irma. Thanks for the words of support.
Rick, you wild thing you. Are you related to Henry Ford?
Stephanie, it’s not a real photo until it’s a print.